Category: Marriage

Parenting: Blueberry Yogurt and The Power of Suggestion

Today I learned:

1.  Blueberry Yogurt: My kids love yogurt. We have to buy in bulk to keep up with their appetites.  They go through strawberry, vanilla and raspberry at an insatiable pace.

The problem is bulk packs all come with 25% blueberry flavour.They love blueberries but they hate blueberry yogurt.

Faced with an ever growing stash of the stuff I have two options: Eat it or waste it.

I just can’t bring myself to throw it out, so day after day I eat more blueberry yogurt. I love blueberries and there was a time in my life that a nice bowl of blueberry yogurt was appealing. That time has passed. At this point I hate the stuff. Can’t stand it. But day after day I eat more blueberry yogurt.

It occurred to me today, as I choked down another spoonful at breakfast, that life as a dad can be summed up in a bowl of blueberry yogurt:  Ultimately what is in their bowls is more important to me than what is in mine. I know I am not alone in martyrdom.  At my brother’s place it’s the leftover food. I haven’t seen the guy eat an entire meal from his own plate in 8 years. I think he feeds himself entirely off leftover scraps on the plates of his 4 kids. That’s life. We’re dads. That just what we do.

2. The Power of Suggestion: As I peered into my daughter’s dresser this morning to help her pick out clothes I noticed something odd in the corner of the drawer. Odd but not unexpected. With two little kids you learn that something odd is always going to be there. I actually check spots like this frequently to reclaim items like the whisk, TV remote or one of my shoes.

With today’s find I just couldn’t resist the overwhelming desire to mess with the kid.

Casually I laid out her clothes – pink socks, monkey shirt, striped pants – all typical 4 year-old garb. On top of the pile I added the piece de resistance: Ski Goggles.

She looked at me a little funny, but she didn’t say anything. She certainly didn’t object. The goggles actually went on first, making it tough to execute the shirt phase in our daily dressing drama, and 2 minutes later she was at the table laughing, sucking back yogurt and just generally looking at life through rose-coloured goggles. When I left for work she was still wearing them.

My wife walked her to daycare and apparently she was pleased to have them on – they kept the rain out of her eyes. The kid was still wearing them when my wife left for work too.

8.5 hours later when we returned to pick her up? Still on.

It all got me thinking about the impact we can have on our kids, and potentially on just about anyone, with just a subtle suggestion. I didn’t ask her to wear the goggles. I just put the idea in her head and she ran with it. She got to be the centre of attention. People around her got a smile or two. Everybody is happy. Win-win.

The power of suggestion is huge with little ones. Kids run with whatever tools you give them. Leave a few sheets of paper and some crayons on the table and within minutes you will find them drawing. If we leave out cookies they will eat them. Put out grapes instead and they will be gone, no questions asked. We can get them to do pretty much anything. Except eat blueberry yogurt.

Chick TV and Addiction to Gadgets

Today I learned:

1. I can’t watch a chick shows: Grey’s Anatomy, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars – they are all the same to me. Intolerable.

I simply can not watch these shows without constantly groaning about the problems I see and providing a sarcastic running commentary. At the same time I am happy to lose myself for a short time in sitcoms that are no more stimulating, like How I Met your Mother or The Big Bang Theory. This must drive my wife nuts.

2. My Addiction to (Useless?) Gadgets is Flourishing: The realization dawned on my today as I clicked “confirm” to finalize my online purchase of a Fitbit activity tracker that will help me monitor both my activities and sleep, syncing wirelessly to the web and – the kicker – allowing me to track the information obtained through an app on my phone.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not buyers remorse talking. I meticulously research these things and only buy stuff that I am convinced works well and I will use. It is just that I seem to have an addiction to these marginally useful products.

The evidence?

A few other things I own, and use everyday to make my life more enjoyable or easier, but I don’t really need:

  • Watch with a vibrating alarm, so that it wakes me up to exercise without stirring my wife.
  • TV remote app, so I can turn my TV on/off and change the volume when the kids lose the remote.
  • Bluetooth car speaker, solely to listen to the Economist from my phone will commuting to and from work.
  • Remote controlled light switches for all the bedrooms. Basically a glorified clapper, and a ridiculous luxury, but they look cool.

Ultimately I think it is good design that gets me. This is also why I have a love-in for most Apple products. If the gadget is simple, works flawlessly and looks good then I am an easy mark. Alternatively, if it doesn’t fit all those criteria and it somehow makes it into my home (e.g.this recent gift, which arguably fails all three tests), it is destined for the garage sale pile.